771102 - Conversation H - Vrndavana

Conversations by Date, 1977

His Divine Grace
A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada

771102R8-VRNDAVAN - November 02, 1977 - 40:42 Minutes

(Kaviraja Visit)

Prabhupāda: (indistinct) . . . Tamāla Kṛṣṇa?

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Yes, Prabhupāda.

Prabhupāda: What you are going to say?

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: What are we going to do?

Bhakti-caru: Going to say.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: What am I going to say?

Prabhupāda: Yes.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Well, the real factor is Your Divine Grace's desire. I mean, it seems like . . . you know, our, as your disciples, our duty is to help you fulfill your desire. It seems like your desire is to die in Vṛndāvana. But it's very hard for us to execute that service. It's very hard—because we love you—to assist you in dying. It's a paradox. You want to die in Vṛndāvana, and we want you to live, and yet we have to do whatever you want. I mean, the kavirāja, he is giving some . . . he feels a little confident. Probably from medical point of view, there's no doubt, he is far superior knowledge than any of us.

Prabhupāda: Viśvambhara has not yet . . .?

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: No. Viśvambhara has not come yet, Śrīla Prabhupāda. I mean for the past few days you've been saying that you want to live. Now suddenly you say that you want to die. Maybe that's simply to discourage us from . . . because you feel too weak now. There's so many conflicting . . .

Prabhupāda: Hum inko itna bol raha hai jo dawai aaplog de raha hai, humko ek dafah parikrama kara do hum din bhar . . . (I have been telling these people so much that the medicine that you are giving me, just take me for a circumambulation once, then the whole day I will . . .)

Kavirāja: Aaj kya? (Is it today?)

Bhakti-caru: Nahi aise hi. (No, just like that.)

Kaviraja: Abhi. Baki abhi dekhiye inka abhi doctor ke hisaab se jab boloonga, vaidya ke hisaab se, to inko abhi dus roz tak parikrama nahi karni chahiye. Accha vaise vaidik chikitsa ke hisaab me is position me le jana nahi chahiye. aur apke sharir ki jo prakriti hai, aur takat ko dekhte hue apko yatra bhi nahi karni chahiye abhi. aur special jab apki iccha hi hai itni to ye baat zaroor hai ki mai is tarah ki medicine ka arrangement kar doonga ki wahan tak razi-khushi pahoocha doonga. baki humlog jo hai is halat me jaane ki izaazat nahi dete hain. Swaroop prabhu maharaj ki parson itni iccha thi bole nahi saath hi chalenge. Baki to. Accha dus roz me inki ye takat aa jayegi nischay baat hai. Dus roz baad me ekdam safely ja sakte hain. Dus roz tak ye continuous chalegi, khana-peena chalega. udhar jo hai heart ki do-teen medicine chalti hai apko, weakness hai, sharir me blood badhega. Abhi to apko aneamia ke type ho raha hai. Yadi hum test karaye to humko 45% hemoglobin nahi milega. Wo to hamari medicine ke takat ke upar aur apke atma-vishwas par apko le jaane ke liye hum swwekrit hote hain. apko baki patient bolke apko is halat me le jane ke liye iccha to nahi hai. To dus roz thehar ke aa jaiye aap kya hai. Dus roz me apka tabiyat theek ho jayega phir aa jaiye.) (Now you see when I speak as a doctor or a physician then he must not go for circumambulation for another 10 days. And according to the vedic line of treatment he should not go in this condition. And the nature of your body, and looking at the strength you must not even travel now. And is special case when you have such a strong desire then it is definite that I will make the arrangement of medicine in such a way that you can happily, comfortably reach there. Otherwise we don't advice patients to travel in this condition. Swarupa prabhu, Prabhupāda had such a strong desire the day before that he said we shall go together. It is definite that in 10 days he will regain his strength. And after 10 days he can travel safely. Until 10 days, this will go on continuously, he will eat and drink nicely. There are 2 to 3 heart medicines which he is taking, he has weakness. The blood count will increase in his body gradually. Now you are having a condition of anemia. If we do a blood test then we will not get even 45% of hemoglobin. It is because of the strength of my medicines and your self confidence we will agree to take you. But we are not willing to take you if we consider you as a patient. So you wait for 10 days and come, what is there. In 10 days your health will improve then you come.)

Prabhupada: Ye log razi nahi hote hain. (These people do not agree.)

Kaviraja: Razi nahi hote hain. Ye apka haat ka sujan to theek hai. Ye kya raazi. Aaj business hai raazi. Dus roz baad aa jaoonga mai apko mai le jaoonga aakarke. Dekhiye swamiji aapke liye main koi bhi swarth chodne ke liye tayyar hoon mai. Aapne jab jevan me itna kaam kiya hai mai har kaam chod karke aap ke liye aa sakta hoon aur do roz reh karke phir aapko saath le jaonga. Mere liye aap parvah karen darkar nahi hai. Mere ko aap London bhi yaad kare to mai mil jaunga kyunki mere liye . . . koi parvah nahi. Aapka sharir bana rahe aur avshesh kaam ho jaye. ark (juice) maine bana hi diya hai. dawai ki vyawastha mai kar jaunga ek hafte ki. Aur phir mai 10 roz phir aapke paas wapas aa jaoonga tab tak aap mujhe change milenge. Ye to hai ek chikitsak ke hisab se. Aur aap me itna atma-vishwas hai, aap bhagavad bhakt hain aur meri medicine par mujhe vishwas hai ki mai koi khatarah nahi hone doo aapko wahan tak pahooncha doonga. Ab jaana-nahi-jaana aap sochiye. (Oh, they do not agree. The swelling on your hand has reduced. What agreement, business agreement? After 10 days I will come and I will take you. See Swamiji, for you I am ready to give up any kind of selfishness. You have done so much in your life for the world, I can give up all my work and come for you and will stay for 2 days and take you along with me. You need not bother about me. If you remember me when I am in London, then I will respond because for me . . . does not matter. Your health should be good and your balance work must be completed. I have prepared the juice (ark). I will make arrangements for a week's medicine. Then I shall return to you within 10 days. Untill then, I should find you hale and hearty. This is from the angle of a doctor. And you have so much self confidence, you are a devotee of the Lord and I have faith in my medicines. I will not let any danger befall you and I will see that you reach your destination. Now, whether you want to go or not you think and decide.)

(whispering by Svarūpa Dāmodara as he tries to explain what kavirāja is saying)

Bhakti-caru: (to Tamāla Kṛṣṇa) Do you understand? He's saying that "As a physician, in this condition, I wouldn't advise you to go. But if you desire to go there, then I have enough confidence on my medicine, and since you have the will, so I can assure you that I can take you over there safely. Now it's up to you whether you want to go or whether you want to stay." He's saying that if you stay here for ten more days, then you'll become strong enough and you can travel. And he's willing to come back again after about a week, and then he'll stay here for a day or two and then take him.

Svarūpa Dāmodara: I think that's a good idea. Don't you, Mahārāja?

Bhakti-caru: Śrīla Prabhupāda is saying that . . . Śrīla Prabhupāda wants to stay here, but we want him to take . . .

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: He wants to stay here, that's a fact.

Kavirāja: Ye baat zaroor hai. Bimari aap ki mit jayegi. Abhi tak jo medicne kaam kiya hai mujhe badi prasannta hai aur mujhe purna vishwas hai ki aap swasth ho jayenge. Inke takat itne roz ki ksheen ho gayi na, wo hamare paas glucose to hai nahi ki chadha de turant takat kar de aap me. Jaise doctor log glucose reduction de dete hain aur immediately takat aa jati hai. Wo to jo medicine se jo takat aayegi wo sthayi aayegi aapme. Jo aayegi dheere-dheere improvement hoga wo ekdam sthayi hoga. aaj ruchi hua khane ka kuch? (This is a fact. Your illness will get cured. Until now, the medicine which has worked I am very happy with and I am very confident that you will become healthy. His strength for so many days has become emaciated. I don't have glucose that I can give in IV and immediately you will gain strength like how the other doctors give glucose reduction and immediately the patient regains strength. The strength that will come with these medicines will be enduring. Once it comes, there will be gradual improvement and that will be perfectly enduring. Did you get the taste for food today?)

Prabhupada: Vishesh nahi. (Not really.)

Kaviraja: Nahi vishesh to hoga, kal se aaj jkuch. Kya khichadi diya? (No, it will become special. Since yesterday, did you have khichdi today?)

Bhakti-caru: Haan. thoda sa . . . diya usme. Khaya nahi, thoda sa . . . (Yes, a little . . . I gave it with that . . . he did not eat, little . . .)

Kaviraja: Laga hai, phir dheer-dheere phir ruchi hoga na andar se. Phir khane lagenge. (It is there. Gradually he will develop taste from inside. Then he will start eating well.)

Bhakti-caru: Baat ye hi ki ab to mangate thoda khane ka iccha hota hai, pehle to . . . (The thing is that he has started asking for food, he wants to eat. Initially he . . .)

Kaviraja: Pani kitna pilaya? Pani thoda pilaiye. (How much water did you give him to drink? Give sufficient water.)

Bhakti-caru: Pani to nahi peete hain. wo phal ka ras, aur dawai ke saath pani thoda thoda sa jaa raha hai. (He does not drink water. He takes fruit juice and along with medicine, he has little water.)

Kaviraja: Phal ka ras jara quantity bataiye. (How much fruit juice does he take? Tell me the quantity.)

Bhakti-caru: Haan, mai batata hoon. (Yes, I will tell you.)

Kaviraja: To ye jitna urine hai na, ye jab yahan ka pura sujan hat jayega, yahan ka pani nikal jayega na, uske baad wo water ki avyshakta padegi. (So the amount of urine, the swelling in this area when it reduces, the water in this area comes out. After that there will be an intake of water.)

Bhakti-caru: Aaj 600 ml. (Today it was 600ml.)

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: What is that?

Bhakti-caru: Water intake, liquid.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: How much urine has he passed since six o'clock this morning? Six o'clock this morning.

Prabhupāda: Brahmānanda.

Brahmānanda: Yes, Prabhupāda?

Bhakti-caru: Two hundred and twenty. 220 ml to hoga. (It must be 220ml.)

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: The whole day?

Bhakti-caru: No, since 6 in the morning.

Tamal Krishna: The whole day?

Bhakti-caru: the whole day it is 320.

Kaviraja: 320 hai. (It is 320ml.)

Bhakti-caru: Haan kal raat ke bara baje se ab tak 320 hua hai. Haan, aaj thoda kam hua hai. (Yes, from yesterday night 12 o'clock until now it is 320. Yes today it has become less.)

Kaviraja: To wo to jab pani sab nikal jayega na yahan ka, water kum piyenge, to peshab to kum hoga. (So that when all the water comes out from this area, he will drink less water, then naturally urine output also will be less.)

Bhakti-caru: Nahi 320 nahi, 445. (No, it is not 320, it is 445.)

Kaviraja: 445. abhi zyada urine jo hota hai wo yahan ka pani nikal raha hai aur jab ye sujan jab kum ho jayega, pani nahi rahega aur water nahi piyenge to peshab kahan se aayega. (Now the reason why his urine has increased is because the water from here is coming out and when the swelling is coming down, there will be no water. He will not drink water, then from where will the output be?)

Prabhupada: Hmm?

Brahmananda: Just translating what the doctor is saying.

Kaviraja: Kya? (What?)

Bhakti-caru: Nahi translate kar rahe hain. sabko to sunane ki iccha hai. (No, I am translating, everyone would like to listen.)

Kaviraja: Wo sabse bada kya hai hum english zyada padhe nahi hain. Ye hi to bhool hai hamare andar. (Actually, the thing is that I have not studied much English (everyone talking together).) This is my drawback.

Kavirāja: (Hindi with Bhakti-caru, everyone talking together)

Brahmānanda: If there's any risk, Prabhupāda, in traveling, then you shouldn't take that risk. The doctor will come back here next week, and then we can see.

Bhakti-caru: Aap humlog ke saath aakar rahiye. (You come and stay with us.)

Kaviraja: Saath kaise reh sakte hain. Phanda laga liya na grhasthi ka . . . aap ke jaise to . . . (How can I stay with you all? I have put the noose of family life around my neck . . . not like you people . . .)

Prabhupada: in the morning the symptom was that.

Kaviraja: . . . (indistinct Hindi)

Bhakti-caru: He's saying, from the treatment point of view, it's best if Śrīla Prabhupāda stays here for ten more days here.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Tell him that the only reason we had any reservation about that was because if some side effect develops, then he is not here to help, and we have to take the help of this other person, who we do not trust.

Bhakti-caru: Yeah. Humlog ja nahi rahen hai uska mukhya karan ye tha ki aap ka jo bharosa . . . (We are not going and the main reason for that was the faith we have in you . . .)

Kavirāja: Mera medicine kaam kar gaya hai. Koi upadrav nahi hoga ye mujhe vishwas hai. Baki aapko jaise mere upar vishwas hai mere ko us ladke ke upar vishwas hai. Maine jaise usko guide kiya hai koi galti nahi hogi. (My medicine has worked. No trouble will come, I have this faith. Other than that, how you have faith in me, I have faith in this boy. The way I have guided him, no mistake can happen.)

Bhakti-caru: He's saying that now his medicine started working. So he'll give one day's medicine, and that he's confident that that medicine will work.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: One day's?

Bhakti-caru: Seven days. And apart from that, he's saying that that boy, he has got confidence in him that whatever instruction he gives, he will follow. He is going to follow that, not like other physicians. He wouldn't try to administer his own medicine.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Yes, but supposing there's a symptom which he has not predicted at this time?

Bhakti-caru: Agar aisa kuch ho gaya, side-effect kuch hua hai, jab aap nahi hain tab. (If anything like this happens. If there are any side effects, when you are not there.)

Kavirāja: Koi kuch bhi nahi hoga. (Nothing will happen.)

Assistant: Jaise kabhi symptom aa jayega tab. (Suppose the symptoms appear sometimes.)

Kaviraja: Abhi nahi hai. Jaise . . . aana to ho jayega. Abhi kuch nahi aayega. (Now it is not there. Like . . . it should appear now.)

Bhakti-caru: He says that nothing will happen. He's saying that the main thing . . . he found out the main defect in the body.

Kavirāja: Agar aisi koi baat ho to aap telephone karenge to mai raat ko 2 baje uth ke aa jaoonga. (If there is any such emergency, if you call me even at night at 2am, I will come running.)

Bhakti-caru: He's saying that if anything is wrong, then we can ring him up and he'll come immediately.

Kavirāja: Turant aa jayega, hum sab kaam chod ke aa jayega. ab ki jab aaonga to 7-8 din ka intazam karke aaonga. Ye to hai ki 2-3 din ki kamai kum hogi aur kya. Inki seva to hogi, hum ladke ko samajhate hain. Abhi to hum ekaek aaye 1 roz ke liye. (Immediately I will come, I will leave all my work and come. Next time when I come I will make arrangements for 7 to 8 days and come. It is a fact that 2 to 3 days of earning will not be there, what is there? At least his service will be there. I will explain to the assistant. Now I came without planning for a day.)

Adri-dhāraṇa: Next time, when he comes, make arrangement to come here for a long time.

Bhakti-caru: Say, at least about a week, so that he can stay here for about a week. This time he came absolutely unprepared, and . . .

Prabhupāda: Turn me this way.

Bhakti-caru: Is taraf palatne ko bol rahe hain . . . (The pillow. He wants us to turn him the other side . . . the pillow.)

Kavirāja: Accha pehle se heart mazboot hua hai. Abhi to itna parishram padta hai na usko sehan nahi kar sakte hain. Blood kum hone ki wajah se . . . pressure theek hai. Pressure high bhi nahi hai low bhi nahi hai. ekdam same, bahut good condition me hai. (Compared to his earlier condition, the heart function has become stronger. Now the load on the heart is too much so he cannot bear it. Because the blood inflow is less . . . the pressure is okay. The pressure is neither high nor low. It is the same, it is in very good condition.)

Assistant: Doctor saheb samajhta hai na. The doctor is explaining.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Svarūpa Dāmodara is here, Śrīla Prabhupāda.

Kavirāja: Barley ya gluten diya kya? (Did you give him barley or gluten?)

Bhakti-caru: Aaj ek time diya hai. (Today I gave him once.)

Kaviraja: Barley do time dena hai. (You must give him barley twice.)

Bhakti-caru: Barley shaam ko. Maine dene ka inko koshish kiya tha. (Barley in the evening. I tried giving it to him.)

Kaviraja: Pani nahi dete hain na isliye barley dena hi padega. Accha ye jo inki urine ki report thee usme to inko subah to hai nahi. Kahan hai report? (We are not giving him water so you must give him barley. Okay, his urine report did not mention this in the morning. Where is the report?)

Bhakti-caru: Mahārāja, do you have the urine report?

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Can you go in my file under "M"? There's a folder, an envelope. Bring that envelope.

Kavirāja: Humko to ye tha ki kahin blood urea nahi badhe, blood urea nahi badhi hai. Ye to sabse accha symptoms hai. Ye lakshan hi hai sabse best lakshan. Ab jaise urine theek hoga to blood urea ke badhne ka chance nahi hai. ye to aap 10 roz tak kisise baat mat karne do inko. (I was a little concerned that his blood urea should not increase but the blood urea has not increased. This is a very good symptom. This is a very good sign. Now when the urine becomes normal then there is no chance for blood urea to increase. This doesn't allow him to anyone for 10 days.)

Svarūpa Dāmodara: He said that . . .

Adri-dhāraṇa: . . . for about ten days, Prabhupāda should not speak to anybody.

Svarūpa Dāmodara: Not much.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Not speak to anybody. Well that's all right with me, but whether Śrīla Prabhupāda . . .

Kavirāja: . . . (indistinct Hindi)

Svarūpa Dāmodara: We won't allow him to . . . guests.

Kavirāja: Koi bhi guest aaye unse baat nahi karega, khali haat jodega aur haat se aise karega. (Any guest who comes should not talk to him. He will only fold his hands and signal with his hands.)

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: What about this parikramā? Prabhupāda wants . . .

Kavirāja: Maun rehane me jo takat aati hai bolne me takat nahi aatee. (The strength which comes by remaining silent does not come when we speak.)

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Prabhupāda feels that that must go on.

Bhakti-caru: Parikrama kar sakte hain? (Can he do circumambulation?)

Kaviraja: Patient ke hisab se nahi karana chahiye. (From the view point of a patient it should not be done.)

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: As a patient he doesn't . . .

Kavirāja: Agar parikrama karayenge to usse pehle to ek pudiya . . . special inko heart ka . . . (If you are taking him for circumambulation then take this packet of medicine . . . especially the heart medicine for him.)

Adri-dhāraṇa: If he insists on going on parikramā, he can give a special medicine.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: He's pretty insistent.

Kavirāja: . . . (indistinct Hindi in the background)

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: So is this all right, Śrīla Prabhupāda?

Prabhupāda: What is that?

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: That we'll wait here for another week to ten days, and Shastrijī will give us medicine. The kavirāja will give us medicine, and you can take it for another week or so. After a week's time he'll come back, and then, after a few days, he'll take you to Māyāpur.

Prabhupāda: At least at present this decision will be good.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: This decision is good. He says that you should not do so much talking, Śrīla Prabhupāda.

Prabhupāda: I'll not talk.

Svarūpa Dāmodara: For about ten days.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: I've never seen this possible, though. (laughter) You always speak of Kṛṣṇa. That is your life and soul—śravaṇaṁ kīrtanam. He says if you insist on going on parikramā, then he will give you a little medicine which will help you.

Prabhupāda: Parikramā must be there.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: All right.

Kavirāja: Parikrama jayenge? Chaliye ye pudiya le lijiye uske baad . . . parikrama bhi zyada mat milaiye, 3-4 . . . bahut der lag jaata hai. (Will you go for circumambulation? Okay, now you take this packet of medicine and after that . . . don't make him circumambulate too many times. 3 to 4 . . . it takes a very long time.)

Svarūpa Dāmodara: He said not many rounds.

Bhakti-caru: Once is not done. Ek dafa parikrama karne se. (By circumambulating once.)

Kaviraja: Lena chahiye char. (Actually you must go four rounds.)

Bhakti-caru: Shastra ke hisab se to . . . (According to the scriptures . . .)

Prabhupāda: Three.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Three times.

Kavirāja: Eka sandhya, devi ke, raghu sapta, surya ke saath, teesro dadhyat vinayaki, Ganeshji ka teen, aur chaturth hai . . . dadhyat, Krishna ke liye char parikram. eka sandhya devi ke, raghu sapta surya ke saath, teesro dadhyat vinayaki, Ganeshji ka teen, aur chaturth hai . . . dadhyat, Krishna ke liye char parikram. (One sandhya for the goddess, raghu saptah with the sun-god, the third is for Lord Vinayaka, for Ganesh three, and fourth is for . . . for Kṛṣṇa four circumambulations.)

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Four times? That's all right. Three times around, into the temple, and one more time. That will be nice. Four times.

Kaviraja: Theek hai kar lijiye, temple hai to itna koi khas baat nahi. (Okay do it. The temple is there hence not such a serious thing.)

Tamal Krishna: Is that all right? Will that be all right, Śrīla Prabhupāda?

Prabhupāda: We have given four times.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: We're doing a lot more than four now. We do about ten. Smara-hari knows, because he carries you. (laughs)

Kavirāja: Unko dhyan nahi rehta hai kitna hua hai. Ye to bhagvan ka jitna kar sakte hain. Jitna bhi kar lein utan hi thoda hai. (He does not pay attention to how many he has done. How many you can perform for God. How many you do, it seems less. )

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: So then we'll make this program, Śrīla Prabhupāda?

Prabhupāda: Yes.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: And you should keep making the effort, Śrīla Prabhupāda, to get better. Anyway, Kṛṣṇa may desire for you to get better, Śrīla Prabhupāda. At least it is our duty to pray like that.

Bhakti-caru: To aap kya kal hi jayenge? Nahi kya aur . . . (So you are leaving tomorrow? Not . . . and . . .)

Kavirāja: Nahi kal jaana hai. Humne bol diya na agar avashyakta hai to mai turant aa jaoonga. Ab to telephone ka sadhan hai lighting koi kar de main turant aa jaoonga. To aapko din ko main jahan bhi rahoonga apko lijha jaata hoon anybody telephone pe baat karoonga, any time. (No, I have to go tomorrow. I have told you if it is required then I will come immediately. Now we have a telephone, so if someone does lighting then I will come immediately. So for you, wherever I am during the day, I am writing for you. Anybody can call me from here and I will talk to them any time.)

Assistant: Jab hoga tabTelegram, telephone kaise? (When there is an emergency then how? By telephone or telegram?)

Kaviraja: Telegram, telephone jo bhi sadhan hai. (Telephone or telegram, whichever facility you have.)

Bhakti-caru: Telephone agar kuch hua na. (If something happens then telephone me.)

Kaviraja: Hoga nahi. hum bolta hai, hamari atma bolti hai kuch nahi hoga. ab improvement hoga. ab hum aayenge dekhenge to inko bahut theek dekhenge. (Nothing will happen. I am telling you, my conscience says that nothing will happen. There will be only improvement now. Now I will come and see him, then I will find him much better.)

Bhakti-caru: Thoda aaram kar le. (Take a little rest.)

Kaviraja: Dawai to hum bana kar rakhe hain. (I have prepared the medicines and kept them.)

Bhakti-caru: Main lekar aata hoon aur sab likhkar bhi rakhta hoon kya-kya karna hai. (I will purchase it and I will also make a note of what is to be done.)

Kaviraja: To phir main aata hoon apko phir swasth karke le jaoonga saath me. abhi kamzor hain na. Meidicine ke jor par le jaye koi baat nahi phir bhi weakness hai. Yahan bhagvan ke sharan me aata hai. wo to khud bhagvan hain kya parikrama bhi maan lo jitni de utni hain theek hai nahi de to bhi to aap Krishna ko bhoge hain. (Okay then I shall take leave. I will make you healthy and take you along with me. Now you are weak. If we take you on the strength of the medicine, then it is okay—even then there is weakness. He came under the shelter of the Lord. He is God himself. Even if circumambulation, how much He gives it is alright, and even if He does not sanction you have experienced Him.)

Prabhupāda: Bhagavan Kṛṣṇa. (kavirāja leaves) Tamāla Kṛṣṇa?

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Yes, Śrīla Prabhupāda?

Prabhupāda: So . . . in Bengali there is such thing, "When you hesitate, don't do it."

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Yes, we also sometimes feel that when there's a hesitation, it seems like the Supersoul is giving indication.

Prabhupāda: But he has not also come? Hmm?

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Bhagatjī?

Prabhupāda: Yes.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: He has not come yet.

Prabhupāda: So when he will come?

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Yes, I am also beginning to wonder. He was supposed to come by at least four or five o'clock. I'm sure he'll have a good reason, but until he comes I cannot speculate on why he's late.

Prabhupāda: Not only late. The other person, whether they will come at night?

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Well, that's probably why he is late, because they would only come at night. That's my . . . last time this was also done at about this time, Śrīla Prabhupāda. These men work all day in the court, and they can't come until the evening.

Prabhupāda: And suppose he does not come?

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Well, if he does not come, then I'll have to find out why he didn't come.

Prabhupāda: And then you will have to postpone? They'll have to postpone.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Well, if they don't come, then certainly we'll have to postpone this signing, because they won't be here. Are you feeling up to signing anything tonight? I don't think so. You feel a little too much . . . you can do? Let us see if they come. I think they're going to come. Of course, it is getting pretty late. Anyway, we'll see.

Svarūpa Dāmodara: Quarter to nine.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: In any case, you're not at any loss. You're laying here. Just I think now I'll turn off the light. Do you like some little kīrtana? Singing? You haven't been having kīrtana lately in your room very much, Śrīla Prabhupāda. Anyway, if you like, we'll just keep it quiet here and turn off the light. Would you prefer that?

Prabhupāda: Light you can keep.

(indistinct whispered discussion)

Prabhupāda: Hmm?

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: I have to give the key to the door. I keep the door locked when I'm not in the room.

Svarūpa Dāmodara: (whispering) I made two members today for the Institute.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: If you stay longer on this planet, Śrīla Prabhupāda, that will make this Movement stronger. That is the real reason for living longer. 'Cause you are a pure devotee of Lord Kṛṣṇa, you have no personal desire. This is Kṛṣṇa's Movement. If you stay longer, then this Movement will become stronger and stronger. Simply by your presence the devotees become inspired, and they work much better. We can understand that there's nothing to lament if you were to depart, because you're always going to be with Kṛṣṇa. But we would have to lament from our own point of view that we would lose you, at least in the way that we have you now. And the whole world would lament because this Movement might not be as strong if you were not present.

Prabhupāda: Then make this arrangement, one week or ten days.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: We are doing that. We have already agreed to that. Actually I could see from the very beginning that that's what we were going to do, but sometimes I feel it is my duty to give good arguments for some opposite opinion just to see both sides. Ultimately we are prepared to be with you wherever you want to be. To us that is home. That is our great pleasure, to be with you. So we're making that arrangement, Śrīla Prabhupāda. (break) (offers obeisances) Jaya Śrīla Prabhupāda.

Prabhupāda: Do you think that without finishing this business we shall go?

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Without finishing the business of these . . . this legal business?

Prabhupāda: Hmm.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Oh, yes. This legal business is not what would keep us here.

Prabhupāda: Then how it will . . . how it will be done?

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: I mean, it can be executed in Māyāpur as well.

Prabhupāda: How?

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Mr. Das, our friend from Calcutta, can come. It's pretty much now . . . it's already drafted, and . . . it would just have to be redrafted again on new stamp paper, or the words would have to be changed. It says . . . it would have to be retyped on stamp paper from Bengal side. The basic writing is . . .

Prabhupāda: That means unfinished despite unfinished.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: (laughs) Śrīla Prabhupāda . . .

Prabhupāda: Hmm? It is past nine.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: So maybe this is the reason we're not going.

Prabhupāda: No. Even if we decide to go, that means despite unfinishing . . .

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Yes, I really don't feel that this would be enough of a reason to stay here. The whole consideration of whatever we do is your health. That is the major consideration. Our going was on account of your health, our staying now is on account of your health. These other things may be done or not. That doesn't matter. I work all day doing all of your other businesses only because I know that your health is well looked after. Otherwise, if I thought it wasn't, I would drop whatever else I'm doing and simply do this, take care of you here. There's so many qualified men doing that, so I don't . . . I'm engaging myself in your other businesses. Otherwise, the main thing is that first of all you should be . . . we should try to help you to get better. And if I say, "If you want to take rest," you take rest and don't be worried that this business may not get done tonight. That is not the issue at all.

Prabhupāda: But how is that they did not come?

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: This is very strange. I must admit I'm very surprised, very, very surprised. I think the only possible answer to it can be that the work itself was difficult work, plus there must have been some other works that either the lawyer had to do or the notary had to do, and so it just could not . . . I mean after all, this was very, very quickly done. When we decided that we were going to go, it was only on Monday. That means yesterday morning that we decided that we were going to leave. So I mean from yesterday morning until tonight is practically not even . . . it's hardly enough time to do the legal work that we wanted to do. It was a real strain. Actually, it would have been very surprising if we do get it done by tonight. That would be very surprising.

Prabhupāda: I don't think. It is past nine.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: You don't think they'll come now. No, I also don't think. I mean it's not good etiquette to come at this hour for business. It's nearly nine-thirty, Śrīla Prabhupāda. I mean I don't think that . . . if you'll permit me to request them, even if they do come now, that we do it on another day, then I would prefer to do that. Oh, I hear Bhagatjī. So they're all here, Śrīla Prabhupāda. So we can go to Māyāpur now. (laughs) So I better . . . first I'll have to go through all of the documents and see that they're in order. Then I'll bring them in here and we'll finish this business.

Prabhupāda: Then let us go.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: (laughs) You want to go to Māyāpur?

Prabhupāda: As you are saying, I'll go.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: No, Śrīla Prabhupāda, I mean you guide us. As you say, we will do. There's no . . . the doctor advises, "Better to remain." His medical opinion is that you should wait here for another ten days.

Prabhupāda: So do that.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Yes. He said the only reason . . . he said: "However, if you really feel that you want to go," he says: "I guarantee you that there will be no risk." That he promises. If you want to go, there will not be risk. But from a medical point of view he says: "I advise that you get stronger before making the trip, because it will be easier."

Prabhupāda: So do that.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: So that's our program. We're going to wait here ten days. After seven days, doctor is coming back. Kavirāja is coming back. He'll also by that time have arranged so that when he comes he can stay even up to a week if necessary.

Prabhupāda: And I'll get some strength.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: That's his point, yes. He feels confident that you'll get strength. Is that all right? I will go now and . . . (end)